my ‘whys’ for moving.

Back in June I posted about us deciding to leave Mexico and return to the United States of America.

In that post I said I would explain the whys.  I find that the whys are for Tom to explain.  It is his desire to return to the States.  Living in Mexico hasn’t been easy, or fulfilling for him.


My whys are a little more complicated, and personal.  Tom and I have been together since 1972, married since 1974.  It’s not always easy, but for the most part it works.

Tom’s unease living here has created issues. Some of the issues are my fault as well. Apparently I can be – intransigent – at times.  It, and here, have put a serious strain on our relationship.

So my reasons for leaving are to continue with my relationship with my husband, and to try to recover that which we once had.

OK, there it is! My reasons for returning to the United States of America!

and yes, we are taking our dogs,  why do people ask that question?



About Debi in Merida

I moved from Colorado Springs, Colorado USA to Merida, Yucatan, MX in January 2006. I love to read, garden, travel, and hang out with friends.
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28 Responses to my ‘whys’ for moving.

  1. Paul Rounds says:

    I am awfully late learning of your move. I understand well your decision. It is how I have ended up in São Paulo these past two years. Susan’s job was requiring her full time residency in Brazil so I came along. Our old part time in Merida and part time in Florida wasn’t going to work right then. It hasn’t been too difficult. I knew I could be happy anywhere if I were near Susan and I was right. There are moments though when I really miss Merida and my friends there. I suspect you will know such moments, too. We both will miss you both. You were among our first friends in Merida.

  2. Sharon Harding says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart.
    My husband and I are in Merida for 4 weeks looking at homes in your neighborhood. In fact, one is a couple of doors away. It would be a winter home for us.
    I know this is a busy and stressful time for you, if you have any thoughts or insights into your neighborhood that you could share I would love to hear them !
    We are here with our youngest son,Sam, who is disabled and lives with us. Feel free to contact me via email. We are staying in Santiago.
    All the best and praying for a return to each other’s arms,

  3. Kim G says:

    Hola Debi! I wish you both the best. I’m sure the events leading up to this decision were difficult, and now that the decision has been made, I wish you a smooth transition. And don’t worry about the rancor of US politics. Though the politicians are at each others’ throats, everyone else is as nice as ever.


    Kim G
    Boston, MA
    Where we are still working toward heading the other way.

  4. Did my comment go to your spam trap? (It had a link, but I didn’t get a msg saying it was awaiting moderation.) ~eric.

    • hmmm, no eric, I have no previous comment, darn those black holes in the internet.

    • oh, I did find it, it went to SPAM because there was a link to an article for the yucatan times.

      Debi, Tom,
      You guys could always try the SnowBird thing, like we do. It’s kinda Town & Country, offering the best of both worlds, part time. Or, you could open a restaurant for dogs:, which might provide a fresh start! : article link deleted by Debi

      I wish we could maintain 2 places, I too think it would have made a difference for Tom.

  5. joliet13 says:

    May the excitement of discovering a new place together bring you both happiness.

  6. Our reasons for leaving Merida in 2011 are very similar to yours. I could have stayed, though maintaining the house was an increasing burden. But David did not adjust well to Mexican culture, and the strain was taxing our relationship. So, I can completely understand and respect your decision. Love, Lennie

  7. John Calypso says:

    Debi and Tom – Thank you for your candid comments. It helps those of us out here wondering; and it certainly causes one to think. Of course saving a relationship over location is the right thing to do – albeit tough for the one that does not necessarily want to leave. Suffice to say you have made the right choice amiga. Your respect for your relationship will be rewarding in the end. Best of luck to the two of you.

  8. Barbara says:

    I wish you and Tom a return to each other wherever you go. As is said, the same character in the Chinese language for “Crisis” also means “Opportunity”. Bless you both.

  9. Dearest Debi,

    I hope you know how much Jorge and I have enjoyed knowing you and Tom. Because of busy lives, we have not seen a lot of eachother this past couple of years, but I have always known you are “there” and that I could call you… You know what I mean.

    As for the reasons you are leaving, they are noble (yes they are) and they are practical. Jorge and I have also been together for a long time (40 years this coming January) We have been from heaven to hell and back again so many times that we’ve lost count. But still he is the love of my life and I am his. To think of quitting the marriage at this point in time does not appeal to either of us.

    Then there are the vows we made… “for better or worse.” It DOES matter that we promised to love one another forever. We were sweet young things back then. We did not have a CLUE about all that was in store for us . But we both said, “I do.” You maybe had this song at your wedding:

    We did… and this one too:

    And this one:

    And finally this…

    Debbie and Tom, Pour a glass of tinto… sit by your pool and if you “think back”… it will “come back”

    Jorge and I salute you both.

  10. Best wishes to you and to Tom and to you and Tom.

  11. Andrea says:

    I will drink a glass (maybe 2!!) to the both of you!! I do embrace your sincerity ! A marriage is nothing to throw out the window!!!

  12. Nancy Hoag says:

    I’m still going to miss you no matter the reason. XO

  13. I have enjoyed getting to know the two of you and hope we can continue to share good and interesting conversation before you pack up those hounds and head to your next adventure. I’m touched by your candidness and honesty and am positive it will help you in the days, weeks, months and years ahead. 🙂

    • we still have time, and we may meet up at some point in time in some exotic location for a remembrace visit. wouldn’t that be fun, want to go to Turkey?

  14. If you are like me, you will be happy anywhere you live. However, it took me three marriages to find the right person, so in my opinion, where I live is not so important, the person I live with is important. Sharing your life with the right person is paramount.

    It’s very generous of you to share such a personal reason, I wish you the best.


    • yes, I am sure I will adjust and make the most of wherever we land. It just scares the begeebers out of me in the current climate of the USofA. que sera sera

  15. princesanancy2012 says:

    Debi, I salute you .
    I always believed in making a marriage work.
    Not every one has the chance. It is such a give and take and not everyone has the stamina.
    I drew the line at cheating when it wasn’t necessary—3 times. Lol
    I have been single this last time 14 years and before that 16 years. Gee that’s 30 years. I only spent 20 years combined with the 3 bums.
    Do what is best for you, I am happy you have the chance .

    Sent from my iPhone


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